Planet Sonia » Ponderings

Missing Mom

planetsonia — Sun, 17 Apr 2011 04:27:24 +0000

For some reason I have really missed my mom this week.
Maybe it’s because spring is here and the sunshine has returned, and I want to tell her about my flowers.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been stressed out, and I know she would listen.
Maybe it’s because I know how excited she’d be that my brother is having a baby.
Maybe it’s just because I love her.

I wanted to hear her voice, so I found some old voicemails of her that I had saved when she died. I didn’t want to listen to them then, but I have to admit, I love to hear her voice now. Happy. Cheerful. Asking about how I’m doing. Talking about every day things. And always telling me that she loves me.

I’m really glad I was able to save those audio slices of our lives. I didn’t want to ever forget how her voice sounds. When I knew she was dying, I found myself taking pictures of her fingers. I wanted to stop time and capture it in some way that I could never lose it. I couldn’t stop time, and I can’t pick up the phone and hear her voice right now. But I can stop for a moment and be glad that she was my mom and she loved me.

Funny typo

sonia — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 05:59:42 +0000

I was writing on my iPhone. It has an auto spell feature.

I was typing, “Lord, help me to meditate on the right things.” I misspelled “meditate,” so when I got done writing, the autospeller had turned my sentence into, “Lord, help me to medicate on the right things.”

It gave me a giggle!!!

What I want to think on

sonia — Sun, 03 Jan 2010 18:20:37 +0000

I am determining to let nothing steal my joy this year.

I’m going to dwell on these things: whatever is TRUE,
whatever is HONORABLE,
whatever is RIGHT,
whatever is PURE,
whatever is LOVELY,
whatever is GOOD REPUTE,
anything EXCELLENT,
anything WORTHY of PRAISE.
(Phil. 4:8)

Too often I’ve dwelled on what is worthy of complaining about. I don’t see whining on this list! I pray God daily renews my mind in 2010.

What do I want to do when I grow up?

sonia — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 04:59:37 +0000

I have some of my best ideas and thinking sessions at church. I think it’s maybe because I stop. I stop doing. I stop planning. I stop working. The churning sea of my brain becomes calm while I worship and listen.

The other day at church a thought came to me: I want to serve God and love Brett. I chased after the thought for a moment, like a butterfly. I caught it and then examined it for a moment.

I realized with joy that this is what I want to do when I grow up! Serve God and love Brett. Finally, I know what I want to do. It seems a bit simple. But like all great goals, challenge is inherent in simplicity.

Lord, help me!

The sound of the ocean

sonia — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 17:16:42 +0000

I recorded a video with the sound of the ocean when I was in San Diego earlier this week. It was so I could remember that peaceful pace that God has set our earth on… and never forget that God is in control. I plan to listen to it whenever I need to take a step back and remember how good our God is.

Waves may be violent

Dangerous and loud

But out of that frothy rhythm

Comes a timeless peace

An assignment to grow in love

sonia — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:28:56 +0000

I got this assignment from my friend Jim, who puts out a great devotional email every Monday morning.

Up for a challenge? It was suggested we read the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church, better known as the ‘Love Chapter,’ and take out the word LOVE and INSERT YOUR NAME. After you do this (I dare you!), print this out as a reminder and let me know how you did. Remember, perfection was reserved for Jesus and there is now therefore NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

1 Cor 13: 4 Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails;

Sonia is patient,

Sonia is kind.

Sonia does not envy,

Sonia does not boast,

Sonia is not proud,

Sonia is not rude.

Sonia is not self-seeking.

Sonia is not easily angered.

Sonia keeps no record of wrongs.

Sonia does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

Sonia always protects.

Sonia always trusts.

Sonia always hopes.

Sonia always perseveres.

Sonia never fails!!!!!!!

Who am I?

sonia — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:48:39 +0000

My cousin Peggy gave me this excellent declaration:

I am patient and kind.

I am not jealous.

I do not brag.

I am not proud.

I am not rude.

I am not selfish.

I do not get upset with others.

I do not count up the wrongs that have been done.

I am not happy with evil…

I am happy with the truth.

I PATIENTLY ACCEPT ALL THINGS. (Had to emphasize that for me!)

I always trust.

I always hope.

I always remain strong.

I never end.

This is based on 1 Cor. 4-8a. This is who I want to be: love. Since God is love, I guess I need more God!

Listening to My Life

sonia — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 00:32:35 +0000

I’m listening to my Newsboys playlist on my iPod as I work. I’ve been hearing songs that have walked with me for many years, helping me through good and bad times.

As songs play, I remember high school, college, and most recently Mom’s death…all through the lens of my faith. It’s a walk down a road of growth and struggles, falling and getting back up, failures and victories.

But most of all, listening to these songs reminds me that it’s my faith that has given me strength to stand back up and smile.

WooHoo just came on…I think it’s time to go back to work. WooHoo!

Good Reminder

sonia — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:36:21 +0000

People will never forget how you made them feel.

They might not remember your name or what you do for a living, but they will remember this.

Are You Short-Changing Your Heart?

sonia — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:00:03 +0000

A few years ago, Brett and I were meeting potential renters. A middle-aged lady and man came to see the house, and they said they’d been together for a few months. She was selling her house, and they were looking into renting this house together. From what she said, it seemed like the house was big enough. It didn’t make sense to Brett.

After they left, he said to me, “Why would she sell her house and move into a rental? I don’t get it.”

It was clear to me. She owned her house. She didn’t really trust her new lover yet. So instead of risking her assets (her money), she would rather leave her home and go to a house with a short commitment. That way if it didn’t work out, her money was still in her bank account.

I explained what I saw to Brett. We both thought the same thing: she valued her money more than her heart.

I see this all the time: people will get into a serious relationship (making their heart vulnerable), but they’ll carefully protect their bank account, details in their salary, and even their cars. But not their heart.

The funny thing is that we can replace our money by just working harder, but our heart doesn’t “fix” so easily. Believe me… my heart still hurts from my mom passing away, but any money I might have lost in life doesn’t even register in my memory.