Planet Sonia

Where Everything Makes Sense — Thoughts, Musings and Tidbits

Missing Mom

April17

For some reason I have really missed my mom this week.
Maybe it’s because spring is here and the sunshine has returned, and I want to tell her about my flowers.
Maybe it’s because I’ve been stressed out, and I know she would listen.
Maybe it’s because I know how excited she’d be that my brother is having a baby.
Maybe it’s just because I love her.

I wanted to hear her voice, so I found some old voicemails of her that I had saved when she died. I didn’t want to listen to them then, but I have to admit, I love to hear her voice now. Happy. Cheerful. Asking about how I’m doing. Talking about every day things. And always telling me that she loves me.

I’m really glad I was able to save those audio slices of our lives. I didn’t want to ever forget how her voice sounds. When I knew she was dying, I found myself taking pictures of her fingers. I wanted to stop time and capture it in some way that I could never lose it. I couldn’t stop time, and I can’t pick up the phone and hear her voice right now. But I can stop for a moment and be glad that she was my mom and she loved me.

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